(Karl Marx)
I was at the grocery store the other day. I was buying black-eyed peas and feta cheese for dinner. The woman behind me was buying popcicles, whipped cream, ice cream, and brownie mix. Her daughter, who was around three, put their items onto the checkout counter and mixed them in with my peas and feta. The woman apologized, smiled sheepishly and told her daughter not to mix their stuff up with my healthy food. Then she looked me in the eye meaningfully and let me know that this was not their usual fare…it was a special occasion.
Like I give a mouse’s fart what the neighbors are buying at the grocery store. (I really wanted to say mouse’s fart. I’m giggling right now.) It’s interesting, because usually at that market I’m buying root beer and chocolate bars. I suppose you could say my healthy choices there were a special occasion as well. It makes me wonder, if the tables had been turned, and we would have been shopping normally, would that woman have judged me for buying chocolate and root beer? Or would she smile knowingly and slide her organic, locally grown radish bunch over to make room?
How much time do we waste feeling judged by other people? How much time do we waste judging others? I’m tired of feeling like I “should” be doing something other than what I’m doing. Who actually decides what people “should” be doing? Or is it just one of those things that everybody thinks everybody else is thinking?
I’m reading a book called Notes from the Underground: Zines and the Politics of Alternative Culture by Stephen Duncombe. In the chapter Work Duncombe quotes Karl Marx’s son-in-law Paul Lafargue from an essay called The Right to Be Lazy:
The proletariat must trample under foot the prejudices of Christian ethics, economic ethics and free-thought ethics. It must return to its natural instincts, it must proclaim the Rights of Laziness…
Commercial break while I look up proletariat…………Proletariat=workers/working class people or the lowest class of citizens in ancient Rome. Ah. Duncombe goes on:
In the era since World War Two, a stable and meaningful career has been considered a birthright for the white middle class. In the past few decades, however, the availability and quality of jobs has declined. What growth there has been has occurred in the service sector and sales, and in management and the professions. The former provide dead-end jobs, while the latter demand long hours and commitment to the corporate world, and are fiercely competitive–yet offer little security.
In rebellion against a culture that glorifies the work ethic with silly football-coach aphorisms such as “Winners don’t quit and quitters don’t win,”…zine writers celebrate quitting. The Quitter Quarterly, edited by Shelly Ross and Evan Harris, gives advice to the prospective quitter: not only quit things yourself but revel in it:
‘Tell everyone you know that you have quit. Because of the stigma attached to quitting, many quitters deny themselves the pride and gratification of quitting…Send reminders, call [friends] to discuss the circumstances of your quitting, invite people to your house and dwell on whatever you quit.’
Now, this section is all about work and jobs. But I think it applies, within reason of course, to grocery buying too. And body image. And measuring intelligence. All of these things fall under the influence of negative dualistic thinking. One is right and the other is wrong. Nobody likes to be wrong, but you might have to get used to it, at least until it disappears.
The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike, and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune. ~Boris Pasternak
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e.e. cummings
(Paul “is that real?” Lafargue)
One Foot Walking 