So. I’ve been practicing bringing consciousness to inner space when I am feeling attacked. Here’s a running list so far: 1. made a joke, partner didn’t think it was funny=I got mad. I felt attacked and failed to experience consciousness in the moment. Waah! BUT I did think about the fact that my partner is worried about her child’s teeth, four of which were forcibly removed by a masked tooth bandit today. I thought about that after getting mad, of course. But sympathizing with the enemy=putting myself in her shoes=accessing the collective consciousness. In my world anyway. Equal signs can be relative you know.
2. got taxes filed with the AARP volunteers at the credit union on the corner. They were running late and…gasp…eating food when I arrived. They didn’t hurry up and wolf down their food when I arrived=I got mad. BUT I did think to myself: what a great example they are setting! Here I am, demanding and impatient, and this retired volunteer lady is just eating her bagel, one…tiny…little…bite…at…a..time, calm as a frog on a log. I should be like that. And then, I took some breaths and just sat there, a tiny bit less impatient. Not a complete fail. 75% perhaps.
3. I said that I enjoyed the brown sauce on my french toast. My partner said that it wasn’t brown, it was white. She had a slight sneer (as perceived by me, of course) in her voice=I got mad. I said, ” You’re doing that thing that bothers me, when you get upset over something tiny like the fact that I said it was brown, when it’s really white. Why does that bother you?” My biceps were poppin’ and my calves were rippin’ as I said it, but I was trying to stay conscious. Staying conscious was hard work for my brain and so the blood went squirting back up there stat, and then we proceeded to have a conversation about what annoys us and why and we weren’t even that defensive or angry! Whoa! That was probably a good 50% success!
P.D. Ouspensky, quoted in Clifford Pickover’s book Surfing through Hyperspace, had this to say about it:
We may have very good reason for saying that we are ourselves beings of four dimensions and we are turned towards the third dimension with only one of our sides, i.e., with only a small part of our being. Only this part of us lives in three dimensions, and we are conscious only of this part as our body. The greater part of our being lives in the fourth dimension, but we are unconscious of this greater part of ourselves. Or it would be still more true to say that we live in a four-dimensional world, but are conscious of ourselves only in a three-dimensional world.
I can be all-powerful. From time to time, I make (3D) choices that limit my (4D) powerfulness. (deep breaths, deep breaths…) Why do I do that? I have to admit, after many long moments of meditation on the subject, I think that I limit myself because I’m afraid of dying. It must be a throwback from childhood, These things usually are.
As the great sage JK Rowling says, death is only truly conquered when one does not run away from it, but understands that there are worse things in living than dying.
I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that yet. More about the ghosts later on…
Sue, again….thanks. I now find me looking for your next post.
Sometimes I think to myself as I’m writing ‘Mabel will like this next bit.’:)
Thank you. I really needed this message today.
Me too. Chin up and fake it till you make it…works sometimes:)